Your evil has always been greater than your good. The voices echoing inside your head are your own. You like pain. Where you stand when pain visits, such trivial matters don’t bother you.
Your rationality and critical awareness of the objective world are only there to prevent you from losing yourself to the voices. Your obsession with the truth as the ultimate virtue is your defense against the hell residing within you. Truth, you hope, can save you from hell, from yourself.
Should you unload your neuroticism in full force? Do you begin with the infamous plunge into the heart of matters and speak with that self-serving mix of blunt and critical self-aware rhetoric?
Self-deprecation and authenticity always soften the harsh blow you want to deal. You accept criticism but only if it’s of the kind you approve of. Your seemingly extraordinary objective perspective is a subjective ego-driven construct. Reality exists to be judged, and your existence in it gives you privilege because you are aware of it. You are but a petty soul who wanted more and constantly shouts against the void. The only thing you wanted was a hug. A hug to fend off the voices and the other you who you fear is truer than you ever were. A hug against your fears of not deserving one.
One more step to be an eternal flame.